Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Let me deny the rumors...

There have been some rumors of late about Eve Uni roaming low sec and hot dropping dreads and carriers on poor unsuspecting carebears.....I mean pirates.  Allow me to reassure you.  The end is not nigh.  The Ivy League Navy and Eve University have no capital fleet.  Any sightings of these supposed Uni dreads and carriers and titans is merely the effect of a new form of Electronic Warfare we are testing.  We just make you think there's 5 capital ships with a 150 man support fleet.  What's actually there is just 4 battleships and 20 assorted other T1 ships.

As everyone knows, the only ships I fly are Ravens and Hulks, so there is no reason to panic if your overview says things like Armageddon or Revelation or Phoenix.  Instead, rest assured that it is merely an illusion and a group of Capital Energy Turrets didn't hit you for 5000+ points of damage.  It's all in your head.

Now I would like to announce that we ARE having a special on specially engraved silver coated meathooks.  Reserve your spot now in Ubercado's corpse collection and for a little extra, get that extra special hook for your cold, dessicated corpse to hang from.  After all, nothing says you're elite more than your own silver, engraved meathook.

And as always, to collect your "I got WTFOMFGBBQ'd by the Newbies of Eve Uni" T-shirt, just bring your kill mail to Aldrat Pator Tech School.  Just remember that if Ubercado shows up with a chainsaw and mentions it's time to shorten the line, RUN!!!

All other inquiries may be made to my secretary, "Bill".  Bill is the Caldari Marine Corps Mk XXXVII Warbot outside of my office.

1 comment:

Kelduum Revaan said...

I can confirm the statement by Silentbrick above is wholly correct.

Similarly, all the kills and so-called evidence of this on any killboards, including our own, are entirely fabricated, and in no way should be taken as factual.

Thank you for your cooperation.